How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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