im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
