The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
