You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
