Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
