No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
