Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
