Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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