Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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