I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i will never coherently bang her
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
