the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
