you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
