I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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