im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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