Where is the hickey?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
