oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize