The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
