I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
