You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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