Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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