Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
