it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
