We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
