i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
