i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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