Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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