You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I die, sorry about rent.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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