so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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