it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize