so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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