R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
