She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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