hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
