I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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