i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
