Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize