You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
