I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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