Whod you bang
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
