Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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