Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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