when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
