just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
