I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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