i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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