Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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