My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
