Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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