let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
