I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
