She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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