I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
