There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
