How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
