but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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