definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
