yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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