I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize