i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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