Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
