I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
