Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
