Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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